What I’ve Learned From “True Love Dates”

I’ve shared on my blog before how I’ve loved helping out behind-the-scenes on truelovedates.com for a few months now. In addition, I’ve been reading through the book True Loves Dates by Debra Fileta. It’s such a joy to communicate via email with her to start with, but this book is SO GOOD.

Seriously, if you’re single (or if you even KNOW a single person, AKA everyone), stop what you’re doing and start reading this book.

It’s really been eye-opening (I’m almost done with it!). The book is divided into three portions: Dating Inward (all about getting to know yourself and figuring out who you are as a human being before you decide to get involved with another human being), Dating Outward (this section covers basically everything you’ve ever wondered about relationships in general), and Dating Upward (focusing on your relationship with God and how it pertains to your relationships).

Just a few quotes from the book that have really jumped out at me:

  • “God wants you to get to know him with at least the same passion with which you desire to get to know your future mate.” (page 165)
  • “Something has gone terribly wrong when young Christians believe that their main purpose in life is to find marital love. This dangerous belief robs us of joy and true purpose.” (page 136)
  • “As we learn to love God, it’s crucial to remember that love is more than a feeling. It’s a choice.” (page 139)
  • “When your heart is focused on the eternal, the temporal world takes on new shape and meaning. Your relationship status and your desire to be married may never disappear, but they stop controlling your life.” (page 128)

And this is probably my favorite:

“You will never feel whole in the presence of your mate if you don’t feel whole standing alone.” (page 135)

I’ve chronicled on here frequently how being single for all these years has made me the person I am today. Between all God has taught me personally during this time and reading Debra’s book, I totally feel like I am much more prepared for a future relationship now than I would have been a few years or even months ago. 

So, seriously, go check it out, no matter your relationship status!



To the year 26


Well, here we are. Another day, another birthday, another year of life to be thankful for.

I was doing some deep thinking about birthdays last night as I also started to doze off my couch (because am I actually 100 years old?) and realized that I now view them entirely differently than I did when I was a kid. My parents, being the wonderful people they are, made birthdays a pretty big deal growing up–we got off school, my dad took off work, we got to go to a restaurant of our choice (usually Old Country Buffet because ENDLESS ICE CREAM SUNDAES). Once I hit the adult world, it was a bit of culture shock of “You mean the world DOESN’T stop revolving because it’s my birthday?!”

But instead I’ve come to realize birthdays are actually a bit BETTER when you’re an adult. Because even though the world doesn’t stop revolving, a birthday is a wonderful, beautiful day of being showered with love. I woke up this morning to a video message from my friend in Seattle, along with other texts and messages. Adult birthdays don’t suck, guys!

I’ve had a BIT of a hard time accepting that I’m officially closer to 30 than 20 now, but looking back on the year 25 made me really happy for the progress I made in the past year. It probably was my biggest year as far as doing things I wanted to do and figuring out who I am as a person.

A few highlights:

And looking ahead to the year 26, I already have some big plans. I am hoping to travel to visit some friends, write more, branch out more, etc. So here’s to 26!

PS: In lieu of traditional birthday gifts, I’m instead requesting donations towards my Costa Rica mission trip this year. If you would like to donate, you can do so online here!


…When You’ve Never Been Asked Out

I had a wonderful opportunity recently to write a guest post for TrueLoveDates.com. I’ve been helping with behind-the-scenes work on the site for the last few months, but I was really grateful for the chance to write and have a published author look over my work.

I’ve written posts on my personal blog (this one) similar to this post, but none of them have been quite this…painful…to write. I went really raw and decided to reveal the entire world something that I’ve purposefully kept on the DL for awhile now. I wasn’t sure what the response would be or whether I would be looked at differently for writing it, but the response so far to the post has been so supportive, and a lot of people have mentioned how they have similar stories. I’ve been incredibly touched by all the comments.

My big secret? I’ve never been asked out.

But I wanted to share how good God has been to me during this time. And I’m so glad to know that God is using the post to speak to others.