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Take 2

This blog hasn’t been touched since April. APRIL. And it wasn’t that I was necessarily more busy or uninspired or anything like that.

I purposefully avoided this blog. Didn’t want to post anything. Stopped my updates on weight loss/the journey on Facebook, too. Because I knew the truth would have to come out at some point, but I wanted to delay the inevitable for as long as possible.

The truth: I totally fell off the wagon. The last post I had in here recapped the joy of being in my friend’s wedding. How great I felt in a dress I had worked so hard to look good in. How accomplished I felt.

And once that imminent goal passed, I lost motivation. It wasn’t that I backslid on my healthier lifestyle completely–I still eat much better than I did before, I only have an occasional root beer for soda now (haven’t touched Coca-Cola since I gave it up back in February), and I stay much more active than I once was. I gained a few pounds, but overall it hasn’t been a complete disaster.

But I haven’t been happy about it. I wanted to want it again, but I didn’t. I’m still struggling with how much I want it now. But I hit another breaking point today, two full months after I last counted calories.

I finally took a good look at myself and realized the way I felt. Not as great. Not as peppy. Not as healthy. And enough is enough for the second time.

Starting August 1, I’m back on the wagon. I’m sure there will be many bumps in the road once again, and it will be harder than before without a bridesmaid dress breathing down my neck, but I’ll chronicle it in here again. I’ll need support again. I won’t be offended if you check on me, promise!

Enough is enough. It’s time to be the better me again.Image

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Twenty pounds later...

It’s been awhile since I’ve updated! The hard truth is that March was a difficult month for me as far as staying motivated goes. I have a great support system between my family and friends, but I found myself not wanting to go to the gym. I tried excusing home workouts as enough. Spoiler alert: they’re not enough.

One week in March I didn’t go to the gym AT ALL. The week before I had gone five times, and I had loved it. Then I just hit a total wall and had no desire to go anymore. I did some stability ball exercises at home, but nowhere near the intensity I hit at the gym.

I lost 0 pounds that week. That was the first time I went without losing a pound or more in a week since I started this journey. Exercise makes a difference, kids. Don’t fool yourself into thinking healthy eating is enough (though it’s very, very important!).

So I got back on the wagon this week. I have started walking/jogging outside since the weather has FINALLY started to become spring-like here (in other words, it’s in the 40s). But I need the structure of the gym still a few times a week, so I’m getting back into that rhythm again.

I hit a milestone yesterday. I weigh myself every Friday morning. I started this journey on December 31, though I didn’t start eating better along with exercising until the end of January. As of yesterday, I’ve lost 20 pounds. Twenty pounds! I’m literally stunned.

At the top you can see a current before and after photo of me. The before is from Christmas. When we took that photo, I wasn’t 100% happy with the way I looked, but I thought I overall looked OK. It’s such a strange reality you live in when you’ve been overweight for so long. You start seeing yourself a certain way, and suddenly don’t realize how far you’ve let yourself go.

I have a longggggg way to go, but I’m going to get there. Slowly but sure. Twenty pounds is a victory for me. I can see the difference 20 pounds makes. I feel happier without those 20 pounds.

Twenty pounds. I’ll take it.

Healthy

Twenty pounds later…

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