This blog hasn’t been touched since April. APRIL. And it wasn’t that I was necessarily more busy or uninspired or anything like that.
I purposefully avoided this blog. Didn’t want to post anything. Stopped my updates on weight loss/the journey on Facebook, too. Because I knew the truth would have to come out at some point, but I wanted to delay the inevitable for as long as possible.
The truth: I totally fell off the wagon. The last post I had in here recapped the joy of being in my friend’s wedding. How great I felt in a dress I had worked so hard to look good in. How accomplished I felt.
And once that imminent goal passed, I lost motivation. It wasn’t that I backslid on my healthier lifestyle completely–I still eat much better than I did before, I only have an occasional root beer for soda now (haven’t touched Coca-Cola since I gave it up back in February), and I stay much more active than I once was. I gained a few pounds, but overall it hasn’t been a complete disaster.
But I haven’t been happy about it. I wanted to want it again, but I didn’t. I’m still struggling with how much I want it now. But I hit another breaking point today, two full months after I last counted calories.
I finally took a good look at myself and realized the way I felt. Not as great. Not as peppy. Not as healthy. And enough is enough for the second time.
Starting August 1, I’m back on the wagon. I’m sure there will be many bumps in the road once again, and it will be harder than before without a bridesmaid dress breathing down my neck, but I’ll chronicle it in here again. I’ll need support again. I won’t be offended if you check on me, promise!